Possession? Friendship? Love?

This is for you.
This is for what we had…
Possession? Friendship? Love?
This is for whatever we had.
You used to say I saved you from yourself. I used to think you saved me from myself.
Maybe that’s why it took me so long to set you free, to give up on you. We grew so close that it felt like we were the only two people on the planet.
I still think about you sometimes, thought. I think about the times you would take me from the bus station and walk me to your house; about the times you would wait for me after school; your smile.
But then I realize that we grew so close that we actually pushed our friends away. I realize that you would always be mad at me that I made you get out of the house just to take me from the bus station; you wouldn’t come after school to see me just for one hour because “there was no point” and you were too tired; I didn’t get to see your true smile lately… to be honest I don’t know how many times I’ve heard you laugh. I think I could count them on my fingers. Most days we would just stay in the house and you’d fall asleep. I prayed for you to be the one; the one I loved. I tried.
I know you blame me. But the truth is, I don’t think you were in love with me, either. Maybe if you were in love, it woudn’t matter that you were tired; you would’ve walk a thousand miles to see me just for an hour. Maybe, just maybe if you were in love with me I would’ve made you happy.
I appreciate the fact that you brought me that neckless from your own money. But you smiling or singing or dancing or us having fun together would’ve made me much happier than any expensive gift you could’ve give me.
I don’t think you were what I needed. And, let’s be honest, I wasn’t what you needed either.
I hope you’re feeling better now. I wish you a great life. I hope you’ll fall in love and see I wasn’t what you needed.